I'm a people person, but even I have my limits. Sometime before my birthday one year I just decided I couldn't do all the public appearances. Because that's what they'd become. It wasn't uplifting anymore because I was tired. It wasn't edifying anymore because I felt unfulfilled. The only thing that got me through was praise and worship, and at some church services it felt calculated. I felt like I had started going through the motions. I didn't like that feeling. I tell you with all my heart I love Jesus. But church was starting to feel like work. Like I was doing something for payment verses serving because I loved service.
The problem was I couldn't say it to ANYONE. There was too much risk involved. What do I mean risk? Loss of respect. Disappointment. I told you we're expected to be the strong examples of the believer. Why do you think we're taught all those scriptures?
When we're afraid, we're expected to "Fear not" for he is with us. When we feel uneasy about the way life is turning out, know to, "let not your heart be, troubled. Ye believe also in me." The list goes on.
But i didn't feel in trouble or uneasy or any of those things. What I was feeling wasn't exactly in my memory bank.
I was tired of the routine.
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