Train Up The Child

I thought about that scripture recently. How many Christian parents do you really think believe that scripture? I think they believe "...and my God shall supply all my needs", they even believe "in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path", I'm sure they believe, "...that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life".

So how about "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it." My translation: If you put God and God's values into your children, they will ALWAYS remember. I think it must have meant a lot for it to be said in the Old Testament and then illustrated in the New Testament. Say what you like but when I reflect on the story of the Prodigal, I get more than the typical tale of "runaway child". I see a story of redemption, a story of patience, a story of Godly training that was never forgotten.

You never forget lessons well taught. I look at Christian parents that have a such a fear that their children will end up "worldly" that they shelter them from EVERYTHING and I wonder if they themselves doubt the foundation that they've given their children.

I think this especially of PK's. After having been in church all their lives, having been taught the same lessons and principles day in and out that have been given to the congregation, why is it so hard to believe that as Scripture says, if you train them you don't have to worry about it. So did you teach the lessons? Did you give the children in your care over to the God that you believe in?

I look at the Old Testament account of Hannah. That woman left her child in the care of the Priest Eli. Now from the record of Eli, personally I don't think that was a good idea. The Word said that Eli's sons were a mess. And she left the ONE child she had cried and prayed for with this man that did such a bang up job with his own sons!

But she realised that all she could do was give him over to God and TRUST that he would do the rest. I think that that's all he expects. Fulfill your end of the command and if he's the God you claim he is, TRUST that he'll hold up his end.

Regina Belle - If I Could

TIRED

You ever get to the point where the words aren't enough? They say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Not true. When everything you do is not enough, and everything you do is commented on and criticized, it takes every inch of your body, mind and soul to wear that smile. When "I wish that she would used the intensity, she has for this; toward something else" is echoed in your ear, the frown is so much easier. But it's the God in me verses the one I see, that moves me!

I've always been the encourager. I'm the bubbly one. No questions about it, whenever you have a problem count on me. I know the verse that will lift you. But sometimes the words aren't there. I remember watching "The Seventh Sign" with Demi Moore, there was a line that said,

"But a day will come when the sparrow sings no more...

"...because there are only a finite number of souls in The Guf. "It`s when the last soul is used, and The Guf is empty, that the world will end.”

I think my soul is empty......I didn't think it was possible. But Lord knows I'm Tired. 

Until Next time......... I'm just tired.

Adorn themselves in modest apparel.........

I remember when my Godmother took me to get my ears pierced and my first haircut. Lord, that was a big deal. I don't think she'd gotten permission from my parents. But that's a whole 'nother story. That was the weekend that I went to my first concert. It was the weekend I knew without a doubt what I wanted to do with my life. Once again completely different story. But it was also the weekend that I realized that the world had a style all their own. And I needed to catch up.

Church style has evolved and I grew up in the era of past the knee skirts, a wedding ring and no make up. Where are you going painted like Jezebel? (Granted I've read that scripture and maybe I have the wrong version but it never gave me that impression). I remember before we evolved into a more attractive Christian, I actually heard a preacher site in his sermon to women that some of them needed really needed makeup so they should embrace the idea.

But as a PK the pressure to be age appropriately fashionable while being watched was always a challenge. I remember when we thought that the rules may have been relaxed and the girls started wearing jeans to Youth Meetings, an elderly woman from the neighborhood, that didn't even attend our church; raised such a hullabaloo that we were instructed from the pulpit on Sunday that we were to wear skirts from there on.

When I became Youth Minister, I decided I'd go toe to toe with anyone that told my kids what they can and can't wear. My church is in the inner city, I was just glad they came to church. I didn't have time to make the boys wear ties, or measure the girls skirts. Whenever they wore something that was more socially acceptable I would compliment their attire. Eventually, the boys stopped wearing jeans to Sunday services and started coming in ties, and the girls retired their party skirts and started looking like they were applying for bank jobs. I never told them to change their attire. I smile when I see them, because as a PK I learned to lead by example.

While I still get odd looks when I decide to wear a sleeveless dress at church, it's become a non issue for me. I'm not Muslim, I'm completely covered and I look good.

Ok, I'll put on a jacket.

A glad heart makes a cheerful face.....

Some of my most thought provoking moments have come from within the hallowed walls of the sanctuary. Take for instance when a female guest preacher was preaching what I now assume was a soul stirring sermon. (You'll see why I don't remember it in a minute.)

I was always attentive in church. It was how I was raised. Adults speaking, I paid attention. My mother would tell you from the age of five to adulthood she could probably count the amount of times that I fell asleep in church on her narrow little left hand and still have fingers left over. And in retrospect, I'm glad, because my church memories would have given me smiles on my cloudy days.

My age at the time that this happened is a blur, but the event shines like crystal in my mind. The female minister had gotten the crowd on their feet. They were behind her. They were receiving her message as from the Lord and then the strange and downright hilarious happened .....

HER WIG CAME OFF!

I wish I was kidding. Her wig flew off her head and onto the podium. I remember thinking, is someone gonna pick it up? No one moved. So there she was in her exposed stocking cap. And I don't mean the nice store bought stocking caps, she had a coffee colored stocking that she had deconstructed and now it looked like an over-sized condom on her scalp. Did she stop preaching?

NO!

That woman didn't even skip a beat. She kicked her glory to the side and kept delivering her message.

Honestly, I don't know why more people don't attend church.

Until next time ;-)

Neglect not the assembling of yourselves

I'm a people person, but even I have my limits. Sometime before my birthday one year I just decided I couldn't do all the public appearances. Because that's what they'd become. It wasn't uplifting anymore because I was tired. It wasn't edifying anymore because I felt unfulfilled. The only thing that got me through was praise and worship, and at some church services it felt calculated. I felt like I had started going through the motions. I didn't like that feeling. I tell you with all my heart I love Jesus. But church was starting to feel like work. Like I was doing something for payment verses serving because I loved service.

The problem was I couldn't say it to ANYONE. There was too much risk involved. What do I mean risk? Loss of respect. Disappointment. I told you we're expected to be the strong examples of the believer. Why do you think we're taught all those scriptures?

When we're afraid, we're expected to "Fear not" for he is with us. When we feel uneasy about the way life is turning out, know to, "let not your heart be, troubled. Ye believe also in me." The list goes on.

But i didn't feel in trouble or uneasy or any of those things. What I was feeling wasn't exactly in my memory bank.

I was tired of the routine.

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses....

I don't trust people.

Strong statement huh? It comes from years of witnessing and observing people with ulterior motives. Yes, I know everyone doesn't have a motive but in church it's hard to find someone that doesn't. People tend to attach themselves to people of influence. I see a lot of that in church. I remember a Pastor that I knew wanted his own ministry, I smile every time I see him because he looks real tired now that he has entered into his calling. I wonder if he ever thought it would be so difficult. I swear in the brief time that he has been Pastoring he's aged at least 15 years in his face alone. I can't imagine what the stress is doing to his mind and body. But it's what he wanted.

As he maneuvered through the popular circuit, placing himself in the right place at the right time. He said the right words, he had watched the right people and learned what was necessary to be the golden boy that people needed him to be and eventually he got his wish. The saying goes, "Be careful what you ask for you just might get it."

I think as PK's we see a lot of what's wrong with the world at large. In some ways we live overprotected, because we're submerged in church life for the most part. But within that culture, we see all that is twisted in the world. We see the movers and shakers. We see the insecure and needy. We see the social climbers. We watch through side eyes as if we're oblivious to the scheming and plotting, as if the manipulation and conniving is a part of the game.

And we question our integrity, because we've been taught to see, like we don't see.

I remember some people that had gotten together, they'd started having meetings at their house, trying to get support to get the board of elders to remove my Dad as Pastor. They had even convinced members that they claimed were disgruntled to come and disrupt the next board meeting. It fell through because their supporters never showed up. By the time all of this happened I had heard about it for about seven months. Austin, PK for 20 yrs, retired, Seattle

A friend that sticks closer than a brother

I don't have many friends. I have a whole lot of people that assume we're friends due to association but we'll keep that little secret between us. Proverbs 18:24 says "A man that has friends must show himself friendly.....", for us that's definitely not a problem. I don't think there's a PK that would ever have a problem finding friends. There's always someone willing to push their son or daughter in your direction. I guess being friends with the Pastors family gets them that VIP pass into heaven.

Growing up I've only had two friends, aside from the ones that my mother brought into the world. I see your disbelief. But there are few people that can understand what the Preacher's Kid understands to be a reality. My best friend in high school was a Jehovah's Witness actually. I felt comfortable with her. She enjoyed the same things I did and I never had to be super spiritual with her. No church talk. After all I didn't want to hear her church talk, so I was in the clear with not having to share my church talk. She knew I was a PK and technically so was she (Her father was an Elder at the assembly). That was the extent of our religious talk, well aside us praying over our lunch. We didn't take part in the Student Christian Movement, those kids were weird. I could be silly without trying to convert her. When we had problems, we talked to each other and all secrets were safe. I think I met her dad once. But to this day her mother can call my name across a crowded room and I'd know her voice.

A friendship like that is rare. Sometimes you just want someone around with no strings attached. Someone to hear your fears, laugh with you give you nonsense advice without judgment. Someone without an agenda, but like I said that's rare.

"I've got six brothers and sisters, I'm a middle child somewhat. I'm never without company believe me. Most people wouldn't understand what I'm complaining about anyway. It's funny though because at church the kids either do two things, avoid us or all want to be our friend." Meagan, PK for 12 yrs, Baton Rouge, USA

The Desires of Youth

Years ago a lady came to our church and prophesied to my mother that I, yes I, would marry a Pastor. I fell to my knees and cried that day. After they managed to scrape me from the floor, my ear was filled with congratulations. I thought to myself are these people insane. Why would you congratulate me this was NOT good news. I swear now that I retell it, I find it hilarious. I was comforted a few weeks later by another visiting preacher who said, "God's spoken word can change, look at Hezekiah." I breathed a sigh of relief.

I sighed because, I really didn't think the just God that I had heard about all my life would be that sadistic and subject me to more church people. No, he's to merciful for that. He loves me right? Ok, most PK's would probably be fine with continuing the legacy of the Levitical ministry. I've said it once, I'll say it again. "Nope, I'm Good" (smiles)

I think about the many persons that people tried to set me up with their good minister friends or the guys that preached at their church. I smile at the offer and conveniently loose their number. We once had a interning Youth Pastor at our church that announced in a Bible study that the Lord had spoken to him and told him that he was gonna marry the Pastor's daughter. I looked at him and had to literally hold myself from laughing. He obviously meant some other church, because he didn't mean me.

This young man was a few years younger than me had previously been divorced, and couldn't keep up with me if I'd given him a road map and a head start.

PK relationships are difficult. We live in the limelight, so anyone that attaches themselves to us must be prepared to carry that same responsibility.

"I remember my boyfriend had some status on his Hi5 page, and not only did my mother comment under it, but she came at me like I'd written it." -  Liz, PK for 6 yrs, Toronto